Deborah Marie: Week Four of Joy Dares (Counting 1,000 Gifts in 2012)

What a week! What a month! What a year! And its only just begun. Eating wise, I made it up to the Day 14 of my 30 days of no eating out and then I yielded to the stress and pressure that the news of a dearly departed loved one had brought and I ate out...along with husband and son. Was it a sign of weakness? I don't think so...our hearts were torn up with sadness at the news that Davids brother, who had been missing for 28 days, had passed away from a massive heart attack, and had finally been located at a morgue in El Paso, TX. Nobody ate much of anything on Saturday or Sunday...tears, anger, sadness does not create a healthy appetite..but by 8:00 at night we knew we needed to fuel our bodies...we must carry on a memory now of a friend, father, son, brother, cousin, uncle who will be treasured in our hearts and missed so very, very much.

It's hard to lose a loved one...what is about death that gets us so depressed and despondent? Is it the fact that we begin to reflect on the brevity of life, or how I spent my years? How will someone remember me? I can let the news of someone dying bring me down...it has tried to this week...the sadness and grief sometimes feels so overwhelming... or I can be grateful...Grateful that I had a chance to know this person, thankful for their influence in my life that helped to make me who I am today. A person passing leaves a big empty space in our hearts, which will remain void, until we too pass beyond the gates of earthly life into our spiritual life... I will miss my brother-in-law...his wit, his humour, his artistic renderings and writings, and his statuses on Facebook explaining to everyone how he made KartoffelSuppen...you could practically smell the aroma of it slowly simmering in the slow cooker. And until then Mark, I will remain grateful... and I will keep looking for those daily graces...cuz that's what its all about...

Day 22: one grace wrinkled, one grace smoothed, one grace unfolded

64: I look at David and notice the wrinkles around his eyes, his hair that is turning gray and I realize how much I love this man who has made my life complete.

65: I love the feel of clean sheets...the smoothness and the crispiness of getting between the top sheet and the fitted sheet right before bed...makes me thankful

66: I fluff out and unfold the blanket, straight from the dryer, the smell of Downy wafts upon the air as it settles over the bed... drawing me into a warm, restful, peaceful slumber...for this I am grateful.

Day 23: 3 Gifts Found in Christ

67: Salvation - John 3:16 - which gives us
68: that Blessed Hope of
69: Eternal Life

Day 24: 3 things blue

70: Smurfs
71: the blue sky which means a warm day
72: my new Ellie Blue Vera Bradley duffel bag

Day 25: one grace borrowed, one grace found, one grace inherited

73: Cricut cartridges that my dear friend has let me borrow and Cricut cartridges that I have let my friend borrow...it is good to have a friend like that
74: happened a long time ago...but I still remember it clearly...the time when I lost my keys and my dear friend helped me tear the house apart trying to find them...we finally prayed about it and the next day, I found them, in the closet, in the hood of my daughters coat...How did they get there?
75: my love for music, passed on to me by dear, precious Dad...

Day 26: a gift before 9 am, a gift before noon, a gift after dark

76: the sunrise

77: a phone call to my mother

78: the promise of dinner, cooked by a dear loving husband, of grilled chicken and veggies, becuase he knows how hungry I am after a workout and he's giving me such great support in this weight loss and getting in shape venture...

Day 27: 3 gifts that might never have been

79: Marks art